thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
