The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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