I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
