Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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