sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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