worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
