i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
