Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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