help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
