I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
