Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
