I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
