To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
