You just made me feel so damn special
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
