I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
