I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
