Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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