Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
