that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
