he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
