We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
