I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
