i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
