yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
