You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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