Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
