So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
