Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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