there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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