Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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