umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
