dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
