so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
