But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
