I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
