If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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