I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
