I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just pee around me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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