Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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