Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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