i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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