Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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