Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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