I can tuck mytits in my pants
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
