were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
