Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
