he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
