morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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