Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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