theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
