just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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