I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
