??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
